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Brusque eyebrows gesticulate disaffection
shrugged from a deadpan demeanour,
bristling with iron-filing stubble.
Belated cheap aftershave smells defeat
loitering smoke-like, bitter inhalations
for poorly timed passers by.  

Shabbily suited, shoes scuffed,
giving the impression he’d been dragged
unconscious into place. At his post
to cast a disparaging eye over the public.
And yet, amid this flotsam and jetsam
of a man, one thing demands respect.

Pinned to a creased lapel, it gleams
under the fluorescents, reflecting
self-importance like a lighthouse beam.
Worn as a medal of honour,  
with all the pomp and ceremony
of a war veteran. Worthless to all but him,

Brian it reads, emblazoned boldly across
the plastic, at the top it says Security.
©2004-2009 ~flamemc
:iconflamemc:

Author's Comments

Observation.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconacidicpyxie:
:police:

I like it. always always surprising to see what you write about. I honestly didn't know it was going to end like that. I thought it was more about a homeless man :o

goes to show ya, I know nothing :nerd:
:iconflamemc:
Thank you darling.

(You've got the emoticon virus I see!)

:blowkiss: ;) :wave:

Is it catching d'ya think?

--
"Comment, to get comments.
Share your kindness, not your hate.
Love the art, before yourself"
:iconacidicpyxie:
lol I can stop using them whenever I want to


must........resist.....

:faint:

GAH! :shakefist:
:icondragonflykiss:
haha clever!

--
laugh while you can
:iconflamemc:
Ta.

--
"Comment, to get comments.
Share your kindness, not your hate.
Love the art, before yourself"
:iconsarcastig:
Once again, a twist at the end that puts the whole poem into a new perspective. There's so much in your poems, they're so condensed, every word in its place, irreplacable by another...

I think that's mostly what I need to learn. The sense that the poem is as it should be, not one of many possible variations.

I know I've been pretty inactive lately, but I'll send you the new and improved version of that Paris poem soon.

--
Hedwig

--As cool as a fruitstand in New York and maybe as strange--
:iconflamemc:
Thanks for the kindness, it is appreciated.

Looking forward to reading you.

--
"Comment, to get comments.
Share your kindness, not your hate.
Love the art, before yourself"
:iconlosttruth:
Shabbily suited, shoes scuffed,
giving the impression he’d been dragged
unconscious into place.

yes.

as usual, i don't have much to critique here.
love the concept.

--
has moved.
:iconcorruptedangel:
I don't know. there is nothing wrong at all... in fact, the style is executed far better than i ever could and i give you full commendment for that. yet, the lines are too packed for me, too much in one - everything seems to vivid for an interpretation, i think i could fix this problem of MINE with reading more poetry like this, as i rarely read such detailed writing. Good.

--
and all that jazz... :meditation:

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January 23, 2004
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